Your Wellness Team Isn’t Always 50/50 — And That’s Exactly How It Should Be

I came across something a marriage counsellor said in a video once that has stayed with me. They were talking about healthy long term relationships and how the ones most likely to survive aren’t the ones where each partner gives exactly half — but the ones where both partners recognise that the balance shifts. Sometimes one carries more. Sometimes the other does. And the health of the relationship depends on both being okay with that fluidity.

I never thought about that in terms of my wellness team until now. Until this season of my life made it impossible not to notice.

Who Is Carrying the Weight Right Now

Right now my holistic team is doing the heavy lifting. My medical team is waiting for more testing before they know which direction to go — and that is a completely logical and acceptable process. Does it make the waiting any easier? No. But it creates a space that my holistic team has stepped into beautifully.

My homeopath said something to me in an earlier session that I haven’t stopped thinking about. When I was overwhelmed and didn’t know how I’d get through all of this, she said: “that gives us time to also help your body.” In that moment I felt some of the weight lift. Such a simple sentence. Such a profound shift.

The rest of my holistic team has shown up in the same way. Each one checking in at every appointment, looking for what they can do to help. Not waiting to be asked. Just showing up.

What I Expect From My Medical Team — And Why

Am I expecting the same openness from my medical team? Truthfully, no. And I understand why.

Western medicine is built on science and logic. On what can be proven with data. And that has given us extraordinary breakthroughs — things that have saved and extended countless lives. I have deep respect for that process.

But science itself is not a fixed truth — it’s a process. A hypothesis. An assumption based on what is currently known, tested against data, and revised when new information emerges. That’s the whole point of it. Smoking is a powerful example — in the mid twentieth century it was actually recommended for certain medical conditions. We now know the harm it causes. Science caught up. It always does, eventually.

So when a medical practitioner encounters something they can’t explain — a recovery that doesn’t follow the expected pattern, a result that doesn’t fit the data — I understand why they struggle to acknowledge it. Without scientific proof, promoting or accepting something goes against their training. I have a logical mind too. I get it. I just also accept my spiritual side and have come to terms with not needing to explain everything.

Including the question I know many people in my position ask — why is this happening to me? I’ve sat with that question. And what I’ve come to know in my heart, body and soul is that the why won’t change anything. So I’ve let it go. That’s not giving up — that’s choosing where to put my energy. Something I wrote about recently that you might find helpful too. Focusing on What I Can Control

The Balance Will Keep Shifting

I’ve been blessed with good health for most of my life. Myself, my husband and my son have had mostly acute issues — things that come up and resolve. My holistic team has always been the more active side of the partnership. But I know people whose experience has been the opposite — where the medical side has carried most of the weight for years, and they are only now beginning to ask what else might be possible beyond that.

Right now my holistic team is pulling the weight. Depending on what my test results show, they may need to step back for a period while the medical side takes the lead. And that’s okay. Neither team will disappear entirely. The balance will just shift — the way it does in any healthy long-term relationship.

What I don’t know — and what I’m genuinely at peace with not knowing — is what the right balance looks like. Because I don’t think there is one right answer. We all experience life differently. What my normal looks like is not going to be yours. And that’s not a problem to solve. That’s just the truth of being human.

The goal isn’t to find the perfect 50/50. The goal is to have enough on both sides that when one needs to carry more, it can. And when it steps back, the other is ready.

If you’re figuring out what your own team looks like — or what balance makes sense for where you are right now — that’s exactly the kind of conversation my Intuitive Wellness Sessions are built for.

Which side of your wellness team is carrying more weight right now? And are you okay with that? I’d love to hear.

With warmth,

Holistic Mystic | Saskatoon, Saskatchewan